If you really exist you already know that I’m not sure if I believe in you or not. A few years ago I officially declared myself as agnostic. I just don’t know if there could possibly be an all encompassing creator of everything. I base faith in things on proof, and honestly I just don’t see proof. I just don’t see how people can put so much faith on a book which is obviously a piece of fiction.
It is also some of “your” actions which make me question your existence. If you truly are pulling the puppet strings of our lives why would you make people who actually do believe in you go through so much pain and mental torture? Why would you make women give birth to their babies 15 weeks early? Why would you let that baby live but send him through life with severe mental retardation and incapacitating physical problems? Why would you force the parents to make the decision to take the baby off of life support? Why is there a need for baby sized caskets?
I don’t understand why you would take an innocent child away from loving Catholic parents, people who follow “your word,” people who do have faith that you exist. And don’t give me that “the baby is in the best place, and the baby was so perfect that you wanted to be with him right away” bull shit. That baby is gone and those parents are in so much pain right now. I can’t see the baby being in heaven is really much of a consolation right now. And what could they have ever done to deserve the loss of a child?
I’m not asking for a sign, or for answers. I’m just trying to explain why I just can’t believe.
A few days ago The Teacher brought his dog over to my house so that he and Olivia could start cohabitation, even if right now it's just over night. They have met before on neutral turf and all went well but I was still a bit skeptical about how Olivia would react to having another dog in her house. Things went swimmingly and our happy little family is forming a perfect Brady Bunch.
Yesterday I talked about routines, and how without them I’d become a blubbering mess. But summers are all about the lack of routine. How every weekend is spent at some new locale reveling in the sun or sipping fruity drinks in someone’s backyard. Summer is about unplanned sunburns and scratched legs from frisky puppies.
We’ve all blogged about it, yes most of us in the beginning of the summer when it was much more relevant, but nonetheless we all know that the best part of summer is all the amazing and wonderfully fun things there are to do. With The Teacher now in my life, he comes with a new set of friends and a new set of plans so this summer is turning out to be doubly as busy as most.
Last week I forced myself to sit down and organize all of our plans because it was getting a bit out of hand. We have something planned every single weekend through the middle of September, and at that point I’ll drop dead with exhaustion or enter summer rehab. In the next two months we have the End of Season Kickball party, driving Noelle to the Empire State Games and wine tasting in the Finger Lakes, going to two rock concerts over an hour away, watching an Olympic-caliber horse show, going away to The Hamptons for a weekend, taking on the adventure of a ropes course/ zip line type adventure thingy, going to the Renaissance Faire, and finishing up with a wedding.
I’m super excited for all this stuff, but I think I need to schedule in some time to sleep.
My mornings are ruled by routine. There is no way I can have a successful day without sticking to the same potentially monotonous system. It keeps everything in line and prevents me from forgetting something important, like brushing my hair. Weekends especially, where the routine is much more lax, often finds me at the mall (substitute mall with Home Depot, the beach, hiking, vegging in front of the tv depending on the particular day) with unbrushed hair.
Oh where was I, right, routines. So…normal alarm clock going off, leaving the house, going to work days require the standard routine. Get up, pee, brush teeth, get dressed, put on make-up, put on deodorant, brush hair/ do hair, walk the dog, leave the house routine (I shower at night, just wanted to let you know that so you don’t think I’m a dirty hippie or anything.)
And when I get to work the routine gets even more important, which is really the reason I’m writing this post. More importantly, it is the system in which I read through my google reader.
Upon booting up the trusty desktop and chatting my hellos with my co-workers I always check my email first and immediately move on to blogs and such, as these really are the most important thing, much much more important than actual work. I start with a few LOLcats to start me off, then move on to what really should be better but just aren’t as funny yet, the I Can Haz Hotdog Puppies. I quickly skim through the quick reads such as Indexed, Knuckle Tattoos, Things Younger Than John McCain,The FAIL blog, Photoshop Disasters, Geekologie, etc.
I try to get some of the items that I usually find boring (but still want to read because I’m a dumb girl) out of the way. Blogs such as my ex’s which used to be more interesting but have now turned into how no one can drive but him and his truck is super cool. I’d give you the link but I don’t want to torture you with him. I generally just open it to make sure he isn’t saying anything too overly republican then mark it as read. Today it was one more post about he is pushing his MPGs to the limit and he is the bestest for it. I really should just unsubscribe to that one.
Then I move on to the more meaty items sitting there, waiting to tempt me with their knowledge, snarky comments and tales of love gone wrong. I jump ahead to The Daily Tannenbaum and You Are Flawed If You Are Not Free as those are my two personal favorites. And then just go down the list.
Somewhere around an hour into work I start to feel guilty and stop my reading and just go do some work, which is much less interesting than reading blogs. Boo for not getting paid to sit at my desk all day and read and write blogs. I can dream, right?
Do you have any routines you stick to? Is there a certain way you read through your blog reader?
Wow, another year, come and gone, Happy Blogoversary to me. If you wanted to purchase me a gift, please feel free. I like shiny, sparkly things, or I would really like a pet crow. Thanks, just email me for the shipping address.
But anyway, what better way to look back on the last year than to do a little analytics and look at some of the crazy, whacked out keywords some of you might have used to show up here in my little corner of the blogosphere:
michael jackson moving to poughkeepsie ny: It seems like I was a breaking news source on this one because everybody and their brother came to me for the info. I’m pretty sure I got more traffic from this than on variations of average, 20 and something. Who knew?
best bars in little rock for 20 somethings: I have no recollection of every blogging about Little Rock, and primarily the fact that I’ve never been to Arkansas would probably have something to do with it. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know more about search engines and how they work than the average bear, but I have no idea how anyone found my blog from this search.
best movies about twenty something life: Again not a topic I think I’ve ever actually hit on, but this is an amazing topic. But let’s take a little hint from the gang at High Fidelity (which is actually about thirty something life, otherwise would have made the list) and go with top five movies about twenty something life
5. The Big Chill
4. When Harry Met Sally
3. The Blair Witch Project
2. Reality Bites
1. Singles
cute cars for 20 somethings: I have no idea. Personally I want a '69 convertible VW Beetle. But besides that, I know nothing about cars.
dog proof cat bowl: The only surefire way to keep the dog out of the cat bowl is to put the bowl on the counter, otherwise, the dog is just going to gobble all the cat food.
how do you find the average of something: Really? If you know how to use the internet you should know how to find the average.
how far does a kick ball go: That all depends on how hard you kick it.
legenda cool as ice: I have no idea what this means or why someone would have googled this and come to my blog. I did mention Cool as Ice once but where the "legenda" comes from I don't know.
peed herself on a date: I most certainly have never peed myself on a date nor have I ever mentioned this terrible scenario on this blog. I really don't understand why people search for some of the things they do.
One more reason my future children will be ridiculed
As I’ve mentioned before things are going super well with The Teacher. We aren’t so much making plans for the future, that would be super crazy as we have only been dating 2 ½ months but we are talking about things. Not making specific plans per say, but more like discussing how we foresee our own personal futures to verify that we have the same view points.
Personally, I have no intentions of changing my last name. Not only is it MY last name and therefore it should be for the rest of my life, but I am also the very last of my family line, the name ends with me. My sister is married off and took her husband's last name and there are no boys in the family, so I’m it. And I don’t want that responsibility. The Teacher has been the only boyfriend I’ve ever had that agrees and understands that.
Because he didn’t put up a fuss about my last name I took it one step further and told him that I want at least one of my children to have my last name. Again, he took that soberingly well. He really is the cat’s pajamas. The bee's knees shall we say.
We had had this conversation a few weeks ago, actually the same night as the battery acid dentist situation, and I haven’t really heard anything about it since. Until last night, when he announces that we could always combine our last names. (Yeah, I know I probably should be putting this on the web, but if with this information you figure out our real first names and our real last names, then I grant you the power to stalk me because you’re really pretty smart. But if you do figure it out can you avoid posting it in the comments so all the other moderately smart people don’t figure it out.)
He said we could become Schnutton. SCHNUTTON! Say it with me now Ssssshnnuuuuton.
“What’s wrong?”
“Oh, schnutton.”
“What were you going to say?”
“I forget, must have been schnutton.”
“There was schnutton wrong with it…it was just unplugged”
I’m not sure if he was serious or not. If he was I might have hurt his feelings by instantaneously blurting out “hell, no.” Sorry.
